


Dogbird

by some_good_clean_fun



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Girlfriends/No Wives, Catfishing, Comedy, Fluff, Happy Ending, Laura - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M, Quarantine, Subterfuge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24300535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_good_clean_fun/pseuds/some_good_clean_fun
Summary: Danny was in love with his best friend. His best friend was in love with an online girlfriend  ‘who lived in Canada’. At some point, Danny was going to have to tell Drew the truth.
Relationships: Danny Gonzalez/Drew Gooden
Comments: 11
Kudos: 54





	Dogbird

It started with the best of intentions, which is probably why it took a while before the shit really hit the fan. 

Drew was scared about dating. Drew was nervous around girls and boys he was interested in. Drew enjoyed spending time online. It was such a simple plan; help Drew cut his teeth in the dating world by meeting someone online he could learn to flirt with. Someone who could and would boost his confidence. Who would look beneath the spiky, somewhat caustic and arrogant exterior to see the squishy big-hearted softy that lurked inside. Did it help that Danny was a firm fixture in the ‘Drew Gooden is the **Greatest** ’ convention circuit since Camp Unplug? Sure, it helped. Did it help that spending this extra time with Drew via multiple social media apps led him to realize his feelings weren’t platonic? No. No, that part was pretty much a nightmare.

Danny adjusted his glasses and gave Drew a thrice-over. He was wearing a dark blue button-down with a subtle but stylish design that made his eyes pop, was freshly shaved and his hair seemed to be behaving, for once. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“I have a date with Carli in an hour.”

“In person?”

How was that possible? That shouldn’t have been possible. Carli was entirely digitally manipulated. And A.I-created. Unless… ? Rick Lax really was magic? 

“A) She’s still in Canada. B) We’re all in quarantine. C) Don’t you think I would’ve told you sooner if I were gonna meet Carli in person? D) All of the above.”

“Oh, right. So you’re gonna have your first video chat?”

Also impossible, but Danny was working on it. Computer science degrees and software engineer contacts came in handy, sometimes.

Drew blushed, glanced off to the side. Danny almost felt bad for the legions of Drew’s fans who never got to see him so sincerely adorable. “I hope so.” 

“That’s great! So, you called me for a reason. What can I do for you?”

“I wanted your opinion on my outfit, but your reaction said it all.”

“Nah, my reaction definitely didn’t say ‘smokeshow’, ‘lookit those bedroom eyes’ and ‘hubba hubba awooga'.”

“I mean, it kinda did,” Drew said, quirking an eyebrow. “So, tell me about your latest copyright troubles and strife.”

“Oh god, I thought you only had a few minutes to chat? Okay, let me give you the speed read version. Having millions upon millions of subscribers fuckin’ sucks, dude.”

“Rub, rub, rub the salt into my wounds why don’t you.”

“Trust me on this. The increased exposure means increased pain.”

Danny told Drew all about the current blocks held on his video, how he was more than half-tempted to post the video for his non-US fans anyway, but since they only comprised about 32% of Greg he kept changing his mind. Drew seemed to understand his woes and listened with a sympathetic grimace. 

Danny was known as being the kind of guy who took these things in good humor, who turned these inconveniences into a joke, a meme his fans would parrot back at him. But he was seriously pissed and he wanted to rant. He was lucky to have Drew as a sounding board. Drew never judged him for moments of genuine anger, wouldn’t be disappointed in him, or worse yet, inclined to wage war for him. He just listened. And Danny needed that. 

“So what are you gonna do?” Drew asked after Danny had spent a good six minutes listing all the ways his video was fair use.

“I’ve appealed, but I think I’m also gonna get my agent involved.”

“He _will_ implore you to write a book for the ninth time. Or commit you to a multi-city North American tour when the apocalypse is over.”

“I know, but it’s so much easier to let him deal with the tedium of Youtube’s legal department.”

“Just remember, if he emails you a contract, check the fine print. He’s been after your soul for at least a year now.”

“Dude, it’s worse than that. I think he already has my soul and now he wants my internal organs.”

Drew chuckled. “You think your organs are worth more than your soul?”

“Remind me to never tell you all the underhanded strategies I used to get ahead in Speech during high school. One soul heavily soiled is worth nowhere near as much as a mint-condition liver preserved in La Croix.”

“Still hoping your Google Nest will alert them to your dedicated advertising?’

“I spent 30 bucks on La Croix last month alone, Drew. I deserve compensation.”

“You know there’s water that you can get fresh from a faucet, right? I feel like it’s important that you know that.”

“But the sparkles! And the barely-there fizzle of flavor!”

“I clearly made a monster. I gotta bounce, but take care,” Drew said, giving Danny the small smile Danny liked to think was reserved only for him. 

“You too.”

Danny felt real bad when Carli had to tell Drew her phone’s camera was broken. But he’d dug himself into a hole and the safe haven (or danger zone) that was Australia wasn’t on the other side. Chatting with Drew as Carli was different. Not because Drew was drastically different; he wasn’t. He had his moments of sweetness, but he still had his cynical optimism and inclination toward dark humor. No, it was Danny, obviously. He didn’t have to turn his appreciation into a joke. He could tell Drew he watched his videos before going to sleep and have it seem like a heart-warming long-distance relationship thing, rather than an ironic roast. He could truthfully divulge some of his more existential anxiety-ridden woes and not have to mask it with bravado. He could say to Drew that he loved him. 

All this lying was starting to present itself as a very physical ache in Danny’s heart.

*

When Danny first met Drew it was at a planning meeting for Camp Unplug and he remembered his initial conscious thought was, “Damn, he’s tall.” 

Drew wasn’t that much taller than Danny, a few inches at the most, and if Danny styled his hair right they were on an equal footing, but there was something about him. It wasn’t imposing. Drew was too surprised he’d even been invited along for that; a confession he’d shared on the tour bus years later, drunk off a live show and three double vodkas. It wasn’t a gangly height of youth, either, something to be mocked with snide remarks by the shallower members of the crew. It was just… an aura, maybe. A radiance. Danny looked up at Drew and felt like he was instantly aspiring to be better, do more, achieve greater things. 

That feeling had never really left him. When asked who his top three comedians were, he was always inclined to change up his answer, but Drew always had a place. He liked how Drew would go for the unexpected about as often as he’d go for the expected. He loved how he seemed to always craft the funniest stand-out line. He lived for those moments they were joking around together, not one-upping so much as forming a symbiotic chain of jokes that became progressively funnier and sillier the longer they went on. 

But it wasn’t just the creativity Drew sparked in him, it was the innate empathy and concern that Drew had for others. Danny sometimes thought people got the wrong impression of Drew because he seemed to have such high standards. And he did, there was no denying that. But where they went wrong was in assuming that Drew was judging others and focusing on their flaws, whereas Danny knew that Drew would get disappointed in people because he knew that they could learn from their mistakes. It was a subtle difference, but an important one. Drew wanted to believe the best in people. He genuinely thought everyone was capable of making the world a better place. And he was let down when they proved, again and again, that he had more faith in them than they had in themselves.

Now that Danny had known Drew for several years, he still occasionally thought, “Damn, he’s tall.” But he also thought, “What I wouldn’t give to be able to press myself up alongside him and stretch out from toe to tip.”

*

Google Earth was a godsend and Danny had learned so much about a specific area of Edmonton, some days he felt like he genuinely lived there. Like, he actually walked down the street expecting to see a Tim Hortons and was disappointed when he didn’t. Sure, he loved Starbucks, but did Starbucks have Timbits? No, they did not.

Carli and Drew messaged every day but on Saturdays they had a standing date where they would talk for hours. This was because Danny had paid for multiple voice changers and had worked a few non-Dannyisms into his dialogue. On the one hand he looked forward to these conversations with a kind of vibrating anticipation that had him imitating his forehead as it leaned against a bus window. On the other hand, he dreaded them with every fiber of his being due to the fact he’d have to come up with new topics to talk about. And on the third, robot, hand, he occasionally got jealous of Carli for taking away from Danny-Drew time. The least thought about that, the better.

On this Saturday, Danny was plotting a route he could tell Drew Carli had walked on her hour long Government-sanctioned walk. Carli was into walking in a way Danny himself was not. Danny liked running, lifting weights, playing basketball, and any other physical activity that did not leave him alone inside his own mind for too long. Too busy to think when you were being chased by zombie hordes in Zombies, Run. Or needing to count your reps. Or attempting to out-psych your opponent. But Carli was more introspective than Danny allowed himself to be, so he wrote a little script about the things she’d seen and the inspiration this had struck. 

He was aware this was bizarre, but, well, them’s were the breaks. This was his life now and for the foreseeable future, until he could see a way to get Drew to meet someone else. Someone real. 

“Hey, sweetheart.” Drew had taken to starting every call with some form of pet name, waiting for Carli to love or loathe it. Danny felt heat creep up his neck and settle on his cheeks. 

“I like that one, that one can stay.”

“It’s better than Carebear?”

“Fuckface and Slimeball are better than Carebear.”

“Oh, okay, Vehement-Carli is on the call today.”

“And don’t you forget it. Are you ready to hear about my adventure on Jasper avenue?”

“Why does it sound like it involves puppets and whimsical musical numbers?”

“Sunny days, sweeping the clouds away…”

“Please god no. What did I do to deserve this?”

They talked for hours. Though Danny always worried he wouldn’t have enough to say, with Drew it was easy. As soon as they found their niche, they were off and away, trading witty and not-so-witty repartee like it was their main mission in life. There were moments when Danny totally forgot he was deceiving Drew, minutes where it felt like just the two of them. 

“I was thinking I could send you some money,” Drew said toward the end of the call. 

“What? Why?”

“So you’d be able to buy a new phone, or an iPad, or even go back in a time machine and buy a webcam.”

“Oh, that’s… that’s real sweet of you, Drew, but I couldn’t ask that of you.”

“It’s no trouble.”

“But you just donated all that money to Direct Relief.”

“Yeah, so you know I’m good for it.”

“Is there a polite way to say I don’t want to feel indebted to you? Because I’m drawing a blank.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, because I do. It means a lot. But I had an ex-relationship where money became a factor and I’m kinda traumatized by that whole situation, just, like, a skosh, and I don’t want anything like that coming between us.”

“That’s all right. I was being too forward – ”

“No! It’s me, not you. Never you.”

Danny didn’t really believe in any kind of afterlife. But he hoped that if there were a Good, Medium and Bad Place, lies were worth only one or two points in a person’s final tally. If not, he, his tarnished soul and his La Croix encrusted liver were doomed. 

“I can upgrade my phone next month,” Danny said next, not sure how he was going to wing it, but determined he’d find a way. 

Drew sounded insanely awkward when he mumbled, “I didn’t mean to pressure you.”

“And you didn’t! You just reminded me.”

“Okay, well, do you want some recommendations? Because I hear Blackberry’s good.”

“Ha ha. How about I get a pager? Or better yet, we should both get faxes and I’ll send you new photos like that.”

“Just your cheek, pressed against the scanner.”

“Je _sus_ , could you imagine? You’re in your home office and a fax comes through. Is it an important document? Those contracts you need to sign? No, it’s definitely an ass.”

“I didn’t mean that kind of cheek, d- dude.”

“Were you going to call me darling again? Because I like that one too.”

“Well, darling, it’s time for bed.” 

Danny smiled down at his comforter. “I’m already in bed. You feel like telling me some bedtime stories?”

“Once there was a boy who lived far away from the one he loved…”

“What did he look like?”

“He was pleasant looking. Like the guy from the roadwork sign vine.”

“That guy’s super hot. Okay, continue.”

“Every day, the boy would send a carrier pigeon with a message to his love, remarking on the weather, retelling tales of his accomplishments, and promising that they would be together soon. But what the boy didn’t know was that his love was under a terrible curse…”

*

Danny awoke the next morning with his burner phone, battery dead, next to him on his pillow. At first, he didn’t remember why, simply set it to charge, but as he climbed into the shower he recalled the soft, dulcet tones of Drew’s voice lulling him to sleep. It was the thing dreams were made of.

So Danny was between a rock and a hard place. He’d been testing out the filter his friend Kevin had procured for him, but it wasn’t perfect. If he moved too much ‘Carli’ morphed into a grotesque eldritch nightmare. But if he told Drew the truth now, after all this time, how was Drew ever going to forgive him? 

Perhaps the solution was cutting off all contact with his alter-ego, ghosting Drew forever with one personality while helping pick up the pieces with the other. Wow, he was an asshole.

Danny had always prided himself on not being a total scumbag. He’d had so many opportunities in his life to take advantage of his fame, limited though it may actually be, and cash in on his ability to win over fans and admirers. He could seek sponsorship with shady brands, or sell substandard merchandise, or act like a grade-A creeper among his impressionable audience, but he’d never wanted to do anything like that. It wasn’t about reputation. It was about not wanting to be a source of hurt. 

And here he was, hurting the one person he cared about most in the world. 

He needed advice and a shoulder to cry on. 

After his existential crisis in the shower, Danny dried off, dressed, and drove to his parents’ place. 

Now, most people would think Danny was there for his parents’ wise counsel. They were older, influenced by years of experience, and could relate Danny’s current predicament to that which had happened in decades past. But actually he was there to visit his childhood next door neighbor and first love Laura. He was going to see his parents too, of course, but that would have to wait an hour or two.

“Daniel,” Laura said, ushering him in. He’d texted her his intentions. 

“How have you been?”

“Socially distant. You?”

“Not as much as I should’ve been, no.”

Settled with decaf coffee and the radio lightly playing pop punk in the background, Danny told Laura the whole sorry, sordid affair. She listened attentively, rolled her eyes once, raised her eyebrows twice, and stared at him like she was trying to pierce through his body or possibly kill him with her mind for about three minutes. 

“What is it that you’re expecting me to do? Condone your plan to break this guy’s heart? Find a way to _Weird Science_ Carli to life? Tell you that you’re not a foolish fool? I’m sorry, Danny, but what the hell?”

“It was supposed to last a month, tops.”

“Have you done anything Doja Cat would approve of?”

“I’m gonna pretend I don’t know what that means. But if it does mean what I think you’re implying, we have a very chaste relationship.”

“He’s a serial killer. Run.”

“Drew is not a serial killer. He’s shy and perhaps a little weirdly old fashioned, but ultimately a charming young man who’s more than capable of having a sexless relationship with a fictional character some nights while jacking off with abandon to free porn on others.”

“Oh god, it’s Drew? We Are Two Different People Tour Drew? With the eyes that you get lost in, the arms you want to hold you tight? That tall drink of water you just want to slurp all up Drew?“

“I didn’t tell you that part, huh.”

“ _Danny_.”

Danny rubbed his hand down his face, peered at Laura between his fingers. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“He seems like a very morally upstanding guy.”

“Ahuh.”

“Who would really value the truth.”

“Go on.”

“You know what you have to do, Danny.”

“But I don’t wanna,” Danny mock-whined, fairly sure that if he didn’t do it in jest, he’d absolutely do it for real. 

Laura stood up and made them both another coffee without needing to ask. She knocked Danny’s knee with her socked foot when she settled back down. “Did you really expect me to tell you any different?”

“No. I guess I wanted to give you a heads-up why I might be miserable for the rest of 2020.”

“Because there’s nothing else going on this year that would give anyone the blues.”

Danny sighed, clutched his coffee mug tight to his chest. “Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?”

“I met him once and honestly spent the whole time trying to decide if I agreed with your rating that he’s an eleven on an eight-point scale.”

“I’ll reframe the question: would you ever forgive me?”

“I don’t know! Maybe? You are adorable. And I do like the idea of holding blackmail material over you. Plus, if you told me you loved me and I felt the same way back, then… there’s a chance, slim as it may seem.”

“But what if he doesn’t love me when I’m not Carli?”

“You start saying ‘aboat’ instead of ‘about’ and you grow your hair long? I don’t know. You have to believe that he knows you. The real you. The you that does stupid shit just to make other people smile and who makes up ridiculous songs whenever you’re doing anything. The you who is accepting and inclusive and super smart and so, so dumb all at the same time.”

“Laura, tell me why we never married for real? Why was our love confined to one magical summer and a ring-pop?”

“Because I’m a lesbian, Daniel. And while you’re very pretty, I just need something… less.”

Danny spent another hour with Laura, laughing about old times and coming up with increasingly horrific predictions for the future. Like most of Danny’s friends, Laura had a dark and twisted sense of humor that meshed with his own and he’d forgotten how fun it was to be with her. He hadn’t realized he’d been finding quarantining this rough up until the moment he was with someone else. Perhaps spending all of his time holed up in his house with his only outside contact being Greg, Drew and weekly phone calls with his parents wasn’t good for his mental health?

Danny visited his parents next, spending the rest of the day there and staying for dinner. His dad was cooking, which was always amazing. His dad had a talent for pairing the weirdest flavor combinations that somehow ended up being delicious and his mom had been telling Danny that he’d gotten even more creative with pantry supplies since stores had suffered from low stock. Sure enough, Danny was treated to grilled halloumi, kecap manis infused cous cous, lightly roasted kale chips and smoked salmon. Weird, but wonderful.

Danny didn’t tell his parents about his predicament. After talking to Laura, he’d made up his mind.

Well-fed and resolved in at least some of his future decisions, Danny drove home. He was getting ready for bed when his burner phone and his regular phone pinged simultaneously.

Both messages were variations on, “Hey, are you okay? I haven’t heard from you all day,” except the one to his burner phone had twelve more messages before it, and the one to his regular phone was on its lonesome.

“Didn’t know I had to report my hourly activities :p” Danny texted with his regular phone, pretty sure it’d been a misfire on Drew’s part.

“I’m so sorry, I went to visit my cousins,” Danny typed on his burner. Yes, he was going to tell Drew the truth. No, he wasn’t going to do it at 11:11 pm. 

He read through Drew’s messages, resting his chin in his hands when he saw that Drew had taken a picture of a cloud and written ‘crazy to think you might see this same cloud in a few hours’. He didn’t think that was strictly true, but it gave him Fievel ‘Somewhere Out There’ vibes and it warmed his heart.

“Without your phone? You luddite!” 

“I think it died in my purse. I put it on charge just now.”

On impulse, Danny checked that his voice changer was running and called Drew. This might be the last time he’d get to talk to him before the truth would come out and it was selfish, and he wasn’t proud of it, but Danny wanted to have one more lovely conversation to remember, just in case.

“Hey, dumpling, you in bed?” Danny asked as soon as Drew picked up.

“Oh no, I don’t like that. I don’t like that _at all_.”

“Not dumpling? Huh. How about gyoza?”

“Definitely not.”

“Porkchop?”

“How about just Drew?” Drew asked with a laugh in his voice.

“All right, Just Drew. You didn’t answer my question. Are you in bed?”

“Hmm-mmm. What about you?”

“Almost.”

“How is that an almost situation? You’re either in bed or you’re not.”

“One of my knees is resting on the bed as I take off my shoes and soon more of me will climb onto the bed as I remove other articles of clothing, until finally I’ll slip under the covers and be nicely ensconced _in_ bed.”

“Of course.”

Danny in fact did begin to remove his clothes and prepare the t-shirt and shorts that served as his pajamas as he pictured Drew watching him. He thought about the light that would shine in Drew’s eyes and the way his shoulders would tense, how he’d rub one of his long-fingered hands over his own arm, in substitute of touching Danny. He imagined Drew’s voice going rough as he told him to slow down. 

“I loved your story last night.”

“You started snoring after about two and a half minutes.”

“They were noises of appreciation.”

“Lemme know when you’re nicely tucked in, then.”

Danny hopped out of his jeans, wriggling his shirt sleeves over his head while keeping the phone pressed to his ear. “My teeth need a-brushin’.”

“And your cows need a-milkin’?”

“Ew. What porn have you been into lately? Gross.”

“No, it’s like a famous song lyric. I forget where I know it from.”

“A likely story.”

Actually, Danny was pretty sure it was a _Producers_ reference that he had once used on Drew, and he smiled to himself as he realized they were so interwoven it was hard to tell where their threads combined. 

Danny went through his nightly routine as quickly as he could. The trouble was, he wasn’t convinced that Drew could feel the same way about him that he felt about this fictional character Danny had specifically created for him. And he wanted, god, he _needed_ to be able to lie back and listen as Drew spoke with such love in his voice.

“I’m ready,” Danny murmured, soft in the quiet of his bedroom. 

“Last night was a fairy tale so I figured this time I’d go rogue. Rogue One. I’m gonna read you the official novelization.”

“Awww, no fair! I want an original Drew Gooden creation!”

“What’s the point when you’ll only hear the beginning?”

“The dream version of me will construct the happily ever after.”

“The dream version of you is every version of you,” Drew sighed. “Okay, how about this -- Once there was a prince who was so blind, he couldn’t see anything that was held too close to him. No matter how many times his subjects tried to help him, with monocles, laser surgery, giant fuck-off magnifying glasses, he remained oblivious to everything before him. What the castle folk didn’t realize was that this was deliberate, on his part…”

*

Danny woke up with a sore neck, a numb arm, and dread pooling in the pit of his stomach. Everyone always said you had to do painful things quick, like ripping off a band-aid, but Danny had always been the kind of guy who’d stand in the shower for five minutes and wait for the band-aid to peel off by itself. 

Danny’s house was never cleaner than when he was avoiding something, which probably explained why he was struggling to find housework to finish. He fed Peanut. He washed some dishes, by hand. He rearranged the little bunny figurines Laura had gifted him over the years. He _dusted_ his bookshelf. He listened to Gus and Eddy’s latest podcast as he scrolled through Instagram waiting for inspiration for a new video to strike. It was nearing lunch time, so he made himself something to eat.

Eventually, Danny realized he needed to stop being such chickenshit and he texted Drew to check he’d be available to talk for an extended period of time. His phone lit up a second later and he swiped ‘accept’.

“Hey Danny, what’s up?”

“Hi Drew, there’s something that I… well, I uh, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about a situation for a while now and I just – it’s been difficult for me to find a way to think of how best to say what I need to say.”

“This is that conversation? Finally. Okay, hang up and I’ll FaceTime.”

“Huh?”

“I want to be looking you in the eyes. Or the closest we can get.”

Drew ended the call and a few seconds later Danny found himself accepting a video call. His heart was beating so hard he thought it was going to burst out of his chest Alien-style and then start dancing like Danny as it flopped about the floor. 

Drew was wearing his glasses, which kind of made him look like a substitute math teacher, and his hair was damp, presumably from a shower. His lips were even pinker than usual, and Danny concentrated on them as Drew said, “Danny, I know the truth. You don’t need to worry.”

Danny’s first instinct was to throw his phone against the wall and go running for the hills. His second instinct was to play dumb. 

Danny shook his head from side-to-side. “What do you mean?”

Drew pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his index finger and leveled Danny with the kind of stare that could make bones melt and go all squishy. 

“You are Carli, Carli is you. I know.”

Danny spluttered. Danny frowned. Danny rocked back in his chair and then forward again like the action could bring him any kind of comfort. 

“How?”

“Because I’m not a complete idiot.”

“Yeah, but specifically.”

“You want to know how to better cover your tracks the next time you decide to catfish one of your friends?”

“No. No! I just –”

Drew looked at him with such naked affection it was almost blinding. “You named yourself Carli and you came from Canada. You might as well have introduced yourself with ‘Call Me Maybe’. You made little to no attempt to change your pattern of speaking. And on at least three occasions you referenced things about me I’d never told Carli and had only told you.”

Oh shit. He'd fucked up. He'd fucked up _bad_. And he thought he'd been so successful.

“You’re not mad?”

“I’m plenty mad, but only because I’ve been giving you the opening to confess for two months straight.”

“Drew…”

“So who is Carli, really? I searched a few stock photograph libraries but couldn’t find her.”

“She was created by an A.I.”

“I’m kind of amazed she didn’t end up looking like your twitter profile pic.”

“So you knew from the start?”

“From the very beginning.”

Danny rubbed his hand over his jaw, tried to take deep, slow breaths. Drew had always known, which actually did explain why he hadn’t really pushed for anything more. He’d always known so they’d been playing a delicate game of Jenga, waiting for the other to move the brick that would bring the whole structure down. But Drew genuinely didn’t seem angry. If anything, he was amused. Had everything he’d ever said been a joke? 

“You look disappointed,” Drew said. “I thought you’d feel less guilty. Did you not feel bad about it? Have I been reading this wrong?”

“Of course I felt bad. I felt terrible. I hated the artifice, the effort, the work-arounds. But if you always knew, then _everything_ we said was a lie.”

Drew quirked an eyebrow. “Yes.”

Danny swallowed thickly. His throat felt choked up. “And I wanted it to be real.”

Drew took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes. He moved away from his phone’s camera for a while, came back looking cool and collected, glasses resettled. He gazed into his camera with an unnerving intensity.

“Then make it real.”

Danny wished they could be in person, so he could reach for Drew, feel the soft touch of his skin. But he settled for alternating between gazing at Drew and directly into the camera. 

“I love you. I’m in love with you. I want to be with you all the time. Even the silent moments. The awkward moments. The moments when the world is too loud, too bright, too much. I think of us together and I know that everything would be all right.”

“Cool. I love you too, I guess,” Drew replied with a roll of his eyes.

A laugh burst out of Danny so violently, he thought he was going to explode. “ _Jesus_.”

Drew smirked, raised one shoulder. He looked so happy he was practically glowing. He looked how Danny felt. “It’s what you deserve.”

Danny almost couldn’t believe how lucky he was. He’d always assumed that, in the best case scenario, when he told Drew the truth there would be a period of time where Drew would need to come to terms with Danny’s actions. That he’d have to accept that Drew might have a hard time forgiving him. He’d need to prove that everything he’d ever done had been with Drew’s happiness in mind. Danny had envisioned several weeks of reparations. But that wasn’t the case. And even though there was a small self-sabotaging anxiety-driven voice at the back of his head telling him that this was all too good to be true, he knew Drew would never, ever play with his emotions.

“Drew, since you always knew, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I feel like the onus was on you to admit it, not for me to expose you, duh. Also, I was curious how you were gonna swing the whole live video chat thing without it being super obvious you were using a filter.”

Danny nodded quickly. “I was working on that.”

Drew laughed, shook his head. “Were you waiting for us to get married, or?” He glanced up at the ceiling. “I’m just picturing it, like, I’m there at a party, holding out my phone’s photos app to anyone who’ll look. ‘Hey, this is my wife, she lives in Canada. We got married via FaceTime. My best man spent half the wedding in the restroom, I don’t know why…’ Oh my god.”

“Awww, I’d be your best man?”

Drew sighed. “Oh, sweetheart.”

Danny felt himself blush all over. “So what happens next?”

“I guess we do what we’ve been doing the whole time, except you don’t have to look up facts about Canada and I don’t have to pretend to like Carli’s voice more than yours. Until the quarantine and social distancing measures ease up.”

“I have other ideas about some new additions to our routine.”

Drew leaned forward. “I’m listening.”

“ _Star Wars_ marathon. _Gooby_ rewatch. Dance lessons for you, guitar lessons for me.”

“Fuck you.”

Danny smiled. “Hopefully. In time.”

*

It continued with the best of intentions. By the time the travel restrictions had lifted, Danny and Drew were competing as a couple in Kurtis’ games nights and their fans had started to realize they weren’t joking about being together. They messaged every morning and talked every night. Danny didn’t think he’d ever been happier in his life. 

Meeting Drew at the arrivals terminal of MCO was so genuinely exciting, Danny was able to shake off the anxiety of the large crowd in seconds. Drew met him with a blown-up picture of Carli and a can of limoncello La Croix because he was the best kind of asshole boyfriend anyone could ever wish for. 

Danny ran into his arms and kissed him long and hard. It didn’t feel like their first kiss. It was too knowing, too exact. It felt like the kind of kiss Danny had dreamed about countless times over the months. One of Drew’s arms held him tight while his other hand dragged into Danny’s curls. Danny got to stroke his thumb over Drew’s angular jaw. The kiss was soft, and sweet, and involving, and Danny realized he’d get to experience this kiss and many others for as long as he wanted. 

When they pulled apart, Drew looked at Danny with a dazed affection. Danny didn’t know for sure, but he suspected he looked the same. 

“Home?”

Danny wrapped his arm around Drew’s waist, grabbing the La Croix in one swift movement. He tucked himself tight against Drew’s body, toe to tip. 

“Home.”


End file.
